Dear Anoynomous (from last post comments),
If you think you wrote anything that I have not already told myself, you are sorely mistaken. I'm not proud of my feelings of disappointment, but they are what they are. I was being honest about my feelings. I was being honest to God, my friends, family, & myself - wasn't writing to the anonymouses in the world. I've learned long ago that God sees our deepest thoughts weither we admit them or not, so I might as well admit them. Maybe this was something I should have written in a private journel instead of a blog, but I just don't want to be a fake to anyone about how I feel. I know I will love this baby just as I do my other boys, but right now, I'm just adjusting to a different future than I had dreamed of. I'm glad that you felt no disappointment in the news of the sexes of your children. I really wish I was that unselfish, but I guess I'm not. As for my child reading this later in life, it's part of his story - how his mother feel in love with him. I was an unplanned baby myself & I know my mother was not happy about it. But I also know that she loves me now and never doubted it.
Addition: Thank you to my friends & family for your encouraging words. They really do help. I know this is something I'll get over, but at that moment I felt the need to dump in order to be filled. I'm sorry if I have offended anyone and have deleted the post to prevent any further offenses.
3 comments:
A beautiful response...and a reminder to all of us: When you feel the need to say something "anonymously", there's your first clue that you have another opportunity to tame that most powerful weapon. What we say has the ability to create situations, emotions, and thoughts in others. A kind word helps people, negative words hurt - sometimes for a very long time.
I think you can set your blog so that people can't leave an anonymous comment
I was disappointed/upset when I found out I was pregnant with Joshua. Not because he was a boy (didn't even know it yet) but because I was pregnant at all. I felt really bad about those feelings for a long time, but of course I wouldn't trade him for the world now! I think it's important to be honest with ourselves about those kinds of feelings. And who wants to read a blog about someone who's being fake? I didn't find it offensive at all. ;)
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